To Be Determine? or Learn to Let Go

i dun getit.. i got MORE than i expected.. more than i deserve.. (it doesn't matter to anybody, does it!?) its not a sadness.. its not a disappointment.. sigh.. nobody will ever understand.. it might b a gd thing.. but it still a bad thing.. at times.. i feel that i wasn't cut for it.. at times.. i think i can prove the whole world wrg -- prove the failure of the whole system.. at times.. i tink i'm nvr up to such things.. at times.. i proportionate w my effort.. but i was nvr at the time where consistent work is suppose to b done.. =(
i can stay determined.. i can let go.. but i can't tell wat is the path i'm suited to take..